I’m writing this in November and we’re not in full swing of the Christmas overwhelm yet, but I know what’s coming. We’ve been here before. The calendar is filling up and I haven’t done anything of any use towards, well, anything.  

And so it begins

We asked over 1,000 women how they feel in the run up to Christmas. If you’re feeling exhausted already, this may help you to feel less like you’re on your own. Welcome to the Christmas overwhelm.

The biggest thing that cuts through is that women are holding Christmas together. Shocker, right? Headline news: Women make Christmas.  

We had hundreds of comments within the responses to the survey such as: 

“It’s so much pressure feeling responsible for everyone having the best day ever” 

“By the time Christmas comes I’m absolutely exhausted!” 

“The mental load at Christmas is bonkers” 

“Becoming a mother was such a jarring experience when it came to Christmas. Suddenly I was the one responsible for ‘the magic’” 

“It’s all on me and it’s too much” 

84% of those surveyed are feeling overwhelmed, chaotic and like Christmas falls on their shoulders, with only 16% reporting that they love Christmas and all that comes with it.  

And a side dollop of guilt, please

There were also a lot of mentions of guilt – guilt at not doing the lantern walk, or buying all the presents on the list, or being ratty and irritable and lacking Christmas sparkle, or not wanting to see wider family. Or women saying they shouldn’t moan because they ‘choose’ to do it all. But is it a choice if it feels like a) if we don’t do it, no one will ‘run’ Christmas and b) we’ve been told this is our role.  

Driving home for Christmas? We’re stuck in traffic

Most of the women going through the Christmas overwhelm are also in the Rush Hour, when the demands of kids, ageing parents, career pressures and changes in hormones. We’re racing through life trying to nod and smile when someone says ‘you ok?’ and keep all the plates spinning, wondering ‘Is this it? Is this how life is now?’. 

And all this is on steroids at Christmas. Is it because we feel we need to make it magical? Is it because we watched our own mothers put themselves to the bottom so we feel we have to do the same? Combined with now seeing everyone else online seemingly belting out golden moments while looking shiny and festive we’ve really amped up the pressure. I know for sure my mum wasn’t concerned about her OOTD in the run up to the big day.  

Festive Nostalgia

When I think about Christmas when I was a kid, it was simpler. It was really about the food and drink that we didn’t have in the house the rest of the year – the biscuit tins with festive scenes on, Quality Street washed down with illicit fizzy drinks. It was being at home with my siblings for long stretches of time until we’d watched every 80’s film available in our VHS collection multiple times, could recite every word and work phrases into conversation with ease while our parents looked confused. Still can, actually – I couldn’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday but feed me a line from Ferris Bueller/Annie/Grease/Pretty Woman (and many, many more) and I will bat it back to you with perfect intonation.  

We’d spend a whole afternoon competing over who was better at the crane kick in Karate Kid and attempting the lift in Dirty Dancing. Notably, my parents weren’t organising endless entertainment and moments to cherish. The big event was the school nativity and Stroud’s Goodwill evening, where the shops opening late felt the epitome of glamour as teens loitered and covered each other in silly string. If there was a gathering, it involved bowls of crisps and Gordons gin and, if you were really fancy, kids glugging as many pints of soda stream-made cola as possible and/or wheeling out the Mr Frosty.  

It’s not for the ‘Gram

No one was hand carving appetisers into festive shapes. There wasn’t an additional carol concert, Christmas fair, ice skating trip, Santa visit, Christmas cinema trip, Christmas jumper day, wreath-making, Elf-on-the-shelf or arranging Christmas drinks with all the groups of friends  accumulated over the years.  

Christmas was smaller and yet it was more than enough. What I really want for Christmas is time with my family, to watch my kids go through the magical journey of getting bored, bickering and eventually inventing a game that only they understand while Doug and I get to sit down.  

Most people get some time ‘off’ over Christmas and if we had any sense, we’d use that to do the things that allow us to recover a bit. And for some people that might include socialising outside of immediate family but there is a lot on that Christmas to-do list that could come off. Who are we even doing it for?  

TLC begins at home

If we needed a reason as to why we could do with looking after ourselves, and battling the Christmas overwhelm, in our survey 90% of respondents had been through at least one of what are considered ‘major life stressors’ in the last year – bereavement, house move, job stress, illness, divorce. Unfortunately that is a bi-product of being in this Rush Hour and because of those things, within the comments there were many who were facing Christmas with dread this year. 

And yet another stat that came through when we asked about taking time for themselves; over 80% of those surveyed say they forget until it’s too late or just simply are terrible at it.   

So, if you’re one of the 16% who love Christmas and everything about it, you go girl. Continue to deck the halls and sprinkle Christmas cheer wherever you go. We need people like you. But if you’re in the majority who are girding themselves to feel exhausted over the coming weeks, there’s still time to dial it down and reserve some energy for ourselves. We don’t need to put on a show. If we’re all putting one on, frankly, it’s a shit-show in all the ways.  

If you’re in need of inspiration, take a look at our Christmas Gift Guide. It even includes some TLC tips and some cheesy Christmas cracker jokes to (hopefully) make you smile.

If you want do want to get some Christmas shopping done, shop our gifts here and let us take care of the wrapping and delivery.