New Mum Gifts That Say More Than Flowers Ever Could

Having a baby is amazing, we absolutely know this; it's also a bit of a whirlwind, and can be exhausting. One minute you're staring at the tiniest fingers you've ever seen and before you know it, you've forgotten what day it is, you're surviving on cereal bars and a hot shower feels like a luxury.

If someone you love has just had a baby, chances are you want to do something more than fire off a text saying "Congratulations!". But knowing what to buy isn't always straightforward.

For years, flowers have been the default choice. Now we have absolutely nothing against flowers. They're lovely. They brighten up a room and they smell nice for a few days.

The problem is they're also another thing to care for. Someone has to cut the stems, find a vase, tidy up after the fallen petals and eventually throw away the dead bunch and its murky waters. When you've barely remembered to brush your teeth, that's not necessarily top of the to do list.

At Don't Buy Her Flowers, we started with a simple question: what would actually make a new mum's day a little easier?  How can you shower her in the TLC that she deserves and needs? And that idea still shapes everything we do today.

If you're wondering what to buy instead of flowers, here are a few ideas that new mums often appreciate (speaking from experience!):

• Comfort food and sweet treats they can enjoy one-handed
• Delicious meals to stock up the freezer, don’t require any prep and help those energy levels.
• A magazine that puts them back in touch with the world – easy to flick through one-handed, connecting with their ‘old’ life, just for a minute
• Luxurious bath and body products for when they smell like baby sick and to soothe a weary body
• Soft, fuzzy socks to feel some comfort after endless sleepless nights
• Quality tea, coffee or hot chocolate for a mum that needs caffeine or pick me up on the go
• A handwritten message reminding them they're doing brilliantly

Which is exactly why we created our New Mum Gift Boxes in the first place. Instead of trawling around the shops wondering what she'd actually like, you can put together something that feels like her. Chocolate she won't have to share (if she doesn't want to). Proper tea and skincare that reminds her she's still a person as well as somebody's mum.

You can even add a ByRuby meal voucher to any of our 'Create Your Own' boxes.  When the first few days are catered for (quite literally); they’ve hopefully been lucky enough to have some visitors turn up with lasagne and banana bread in hand. But after a couple of weeks, once reality kicks in, the food shop has been put to the bottom of the to do list and dinner for herself is very much an afterthought, that having a freezer full of ready to go, good quality meals can feel like the biggest gift of all.

If you're unsure where to start, the Recovery Gift Box is designed with exactly those early weeks in mind, combining comforting treats that encourage her to slow down whenever she gets the chance. Think luxurious hand cream, soothing lavender bubble bath and posh choccies that feel a lot more special than a bar of dairy milk. 

Recovery doesn't stop once everyone has come home from the hospital. It's the weeks afterwards that can feel longest. The days blur into nights, visitors come and go, and somehow it's 3pm before you've realised you're still wearing yesterday's leggings. This box is there for those moments. As a reminder that she's allowed to take five minutes for herself too.

Every new mum's experience is different, so one-size-fits-all gifts don't fit the bill.

That's why personalised gifting is a great option. Rather than buying something because it's expected, you can build a gift around her.

Help her do the things that she maybe otherwise won’t have the time or inclination for, but will absolutely help her (and give her permission to SIT DOWN). She might want to disappear into a novel when she gets a moment. Others might feel soothed by a hot coffee and putting their feet up with a face mask. A lavender bubble bath might be just the ticket, or simply an abundant supply of snacks they can eat one-handed.

That's why we love letting you Create Your Own Box. You know her better than we do, so you can fill it with the things that'll make her think, "Oh, you really know me."    

Whether you live a few hours away, overseas or even if they're not taking visitors yet, sending a thoughtful gift in the post is a meaningful way to stay connected.

Sometimes the hardest part of living further away is not being able to pop round with dinner or put the kettle on while she has a shower. A personalised gift box in the post isn't quite the same as being there, but it says, "I wish I could be."

Don't expect to meet the baby straight away. Those first few weeks are precious, and they need time together to settle into their new little routine. It's nothing personal, and definitely not a sign they don't want to see you.

Heading to Tesco? Drop them a quick text and ask if they need anything. Bread, milk, nappies, a bar of chocolate... the essentials. Better yet, leave it on the doorstep if they're not up for visitors. It feels thoughtful without making them worry you've invited yourself in, or that they need to tidy up.

If you are visiting, don't ask, "Can I help?" Chances are they'll politely say no. Instead, look around. Does the dishwasher need emptying? Is there a mountain of tiny babygrows waiting to be folded? Could you make everyone a cup of tea? Helping with the little jobs can make a much bigger difference than cuddling the baby for an hour. And if the baby finally falls asleep while you're there? There'll be plenty of cuddles another day. Protect the nap.

Offer support in whatever way feels right. Be an open ear, bring coffee, have a chat or simply keep her company. If it's just been mum and baby all day, a proper conversation and a few giggles might be exactly what she needs.

And remember, don't just send flowers.