TW: Baby Loss.

It’s ten years since your gorgeous Eddie died and that same year you started Teddy’s Wish. It’s incredible that you found that focus and energy. What do you think now looking back to that time?  

‘I have been reflecting so much about the 10 years and what this means to me personally and the charity. It is obviously devastating that it has been 10 years since we tragically lost Eddie and that pain never goes away but we are immensely proud of everything we have achieved in his name. In the very early days of our loss, we were very determined to do something to help others. The charity also provided a sense of purpose and allowed me to continue to parent Eddie in some way. That reason still remains today. I always say to friends that I have the privilege of being able to parent our children Ollie and Chloe but I also get to parent Eddie through Teddy’s Wish.’

We know that a lot of people feel uncomfortable talking about baby loss – you’ve said one of the reasons this may be is because it represents every parent’s worse fear.  Tell us about the community you’ve found and are part of, including The Other Mothers?

‘In the early days of my grief, I was desperately trying to seek other bereaved parents who had suffered a similar loss. Although friends and family are well-meaning, bereaved parents truly know and understand what it felt like to lose a child. In 2014, there were lots of blogs to follow and some online support groups but we didn’t have Instagram and I feel that the online community has really grown over the last decade. There is a wonderful willingness from the online community of bereaved parents to support each other. I was incredibly fortunate to meet my neighbour at the time, Alice Olins (from the Step Up Club). Although Alice had lost her baby boy Bear to stillbirth, we had both lost our boys unexpectedly and our future with them. And even though our losses were different, they were one of the same: we had both lost our baby. Alice was further along in her grief journey and she became my beacon of hope. If she could survive this loss, then I could too.’

‘I was also very lucky to meet Caro and Elle a few years ago, AKA my good friends and podcast co-hosts of “The Other Mothers”. We all lost our first baby boys: Freddie, Eddie and Teddy and I like to think that they brought us together. Even though our losses are different, it re-enforces my belief that we are all part of the same community. Our podcast was set up to provide another resource for the baby loss community where we openly share our own experiences of baby loss and we invite guests to share their stories too.’

What’s the most helpful thing someone can do or say for a friend going through baby loss?

‘I think it’s hard to say just one thing will be helpful but I think it is really important to get in touch, whether that is by phone, email, text or letter to let a bereaved parent know that you are thinking of them. And when writing a message, please always include the baby’s name. It validates their existence and bereaved parents love nothing more than talking about their baby. As one friend said to me it’s important to do something, just don’t do nothing!’

Tell us about the new package and how someone going through baby loss can contact 

‘We are so excited to introduce the Teddy’s Wish Baby Loss Bear Package with Don’t Buy Her Flowers and Jelly Cat. We have always wanted to have a bear associated with Teddy’s Wish and we were so thrilled to discover the Edward Bear in the Jelly Cat collection. We couldn’t think of a more fitting bear name for our special package!

‘We understand that no words can ease the pain of losing a precious baby. That’s why we wanted to create a care package to offer a small token of comfort and support to bereaved parents during this unimaginably difficult time.

Whilst we can’t erase the pain, our hope is that the Edward Bear will provide a small sense of comfort. Our Baby Loss Bear Care Package is a heartfelt gesture to let grieving parents know that they are not alone. We have also included a beautiful scented candle, some Teapig teabags and some biscuits.’

If someone is recently bereaved and has lost a baby to stillbirth (from 24 weeks), neonatal death or SIDS, they just need to contact us at support@teddyswish.org to request a package.

Although the Teddy’s Wish Bear Care Package isn’t available to buy, The Teddy’s Wish x The Other Mothers Baby Loss Care Package can be found here.